17th-century satirical erotica

First is the Dildoides of 1672. It was written after a plethora of sexual aids were found in luggage coming into England from France. He treats them as martyrs. Full text HERE.

He apparently also wrote poems on masturbation and condoms.

Here's an overview: http://planetpeschel.com/2012/04/samuel_butler_rises_to_the_occasion_1672/

And another poem on Signior Dildo by another poet, John Wilmot, in 1673.

I first learned about these sources from a very cool academic.

A rediscovered 18th-century dildo

Make Your Own Dildo!

From Schlecky Silberstein

Erotic Art, Sexual Aids, etc. etc. from the Wellcome Collection

In a new exhibition, the Wellcome will have plenty of things that society keeps hidden out on full display. A full set of objects here, and some of my favorite examples:

Peruvian, date unknown

Greek, 5th century BCE

Chinese, date unknown

German, 1980s

Words to Offend

The first instance of the word "fuck":

Excerpts from Salon's Modern History of Swearing:

Other wonderful words that may be unfamiliar to you include godemiche, another French import, meaning “dildo.” A dildo,  Grose  [In his 1785 “Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue”] helpfully explains, is “an implement resembling the virile member, for which it is said to be substituted, by nuns, boarding school misses, and others obliged to celibacy, or fearful of pregnancy. Dildoes are made of wax, horn, leather, and diverse other substances, and if fame does not lie more than usually, are to be had at many of our great toy shops and nick nackatories.” Grose is wonderfully able to describe what a dildo is while denying any firsthand knowledge of them. Lobcock is “a large relaxed penis, also a dull inanimate fellow.” A rantallion is “one whose scrotum is so relaxed as to be longer than his penis, i.e. whose shot pouch is longer than the barrel of his piece.” Fartleberries are “excrement hanging to the hairs about the anus, &c, of a man or woman.” (Here &c, “et cetera,” is back to being slang for the private parts.) And then there is burning shame, “a lighted candle stuck into the parts of a woman, certainly not intended by nature for a candlestick.” Why this lascivious practice bears mention when larking and huffling don’t is not completely clear. Grose defines cunt as “a nasty name for a nasty thing”; perhaps he was simply unable to deny himself the pleasure of the pun: burning shame is “terrible shame/shame (cunt) on fire.”

And to this I add a little poem all about dildos: The Dildoides by Samuel Butler, 1672.

"Let’s Talk about Sex: Victorian Anti-Masturbation Devices"

From the Chirurgeon's Apprentice:

DO NOT TOUCH

And Victorian Anti-Masturbation Devices! from The Chirurgeon's Apprentice

Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves

'the body of a female masturbator might even create its own offspring, independent of human action. Physician G. A. Douglas argued in his book, The Nature and Causes of Impotence in Men, and Barrenness in Women (1758), that false conceptions could be caused by self-abuse. He suggested that women needed vaginal stimulation in order to make an egg descend. If a woman used “those shameful implements” to stimulate herself, she would produce an egg that would remain unfertilised and grow so that it resembled a pregnancy. Women, he warned, “should know this and tremble”.'

Once again from Wonders and Marvels

And for the song reference see Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin singing Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves.

And a great version by some goth dudes

The History of Playing with the Self

From a 19th Century Persian manuscript. See at Wellcome's photostream here

Something similar can be seen in a Renaissance print by Marcantonio Raimondi of a woman with a similar penchant for carrots. (This can be seen in the book The Renaissance Print)